So, full disclosure, I wrote an entire Big Feels on some religious trauma feels I’ve been working through, and then I was like, “OKAY THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WITH ME THROUGH LEAVING MY HUSBAND, MY CAR GETTING SMOOSHED, ANXIOUS HEALTH SCENARIOS, DEEP GRIEF ON FAMILY AND LOVE, SOME GAY SHIT…..AND NOW I WANT TO GIVE THEM RELIGIOUS TRAUMA????!!!!!??????!!!!!!????!!!!”
Let’s save the religious trauma until the new year. Actually, if you want some religious trauma talk, I did it in kind of a cheeky way here, so have at it.
For the last Big Feels of 2023, we’re going to have fucking fun for once, okay? Okay. Goddamnit.
Here are some less big feels that are making me giggle lately:
I’ve been singing “Gingko Biloba” to this tune in my head for maybe years at this point, not all the time, but, like, enough. And I just stopped and sang the tune out loud only to realize: I’m singing it to the tune of “Jasooon Derulooo.” And I don’t know how that started but oh my god does that make me laugh. I love being a silly bitch.
Against my best efforts, my bathroom is always at a sweaty 30 degrees Celsius. My coconut oil remains melted. My foundation is warm to the touch. I’ve cleaned out one of my produce drawers of my fridge and it is now my face and hair products drawer. It makes me feel a. Like a genius and b. Single in the most glamorous, sex-and-the-city kind of way.
I’ve been taking home a lot of books from the library lately — not reading them, taking them home. I am a great mover of books, here to there, back again. Here is a list of books I brought in to my home, but did not read:
The Unexpected Gift of Trauma: the Path to Posttraumatic Growth by Edith Shiro
Thinking With Your Hands: the Surprising Science Behind How Gestures Shape Our Thoughts by Susan Goldin-Meadow
Tom Lake by Ann Patchett
On Haiku by Hiroaki Sato
A Farewell to Gabo and Mercedes: a Son's Memoir of Gabriel García Márquez and Mercedes Barcha by Rodrigo Garcia
Bi: the Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality by Julia Shaw
The Divorce Colony: How Women Revolutionized Marriage and Found Freedom on the American Frontier by April White
Upstream: Selected Essays by Mary Oliver (I actually did read at least half of this one)
I spent a couple hours with my chalk making marks on a big piece of paper this weekend (perhaps while seeing the world in psychedelics, perhaps notttttt). Every time I look at it, I think of that meme from Parks and Rec, “DO YOU THINK A DEPRESSED PERSON COULD MAKE THIS??” and it makes me giggle. I do like my chalk drawing, though.
Last, but not least: I’m going to make a wee odd jobs call out. I’m carrying some debt from the ups and downs of this year, and the library is talking about going on strike in the new year. I’m also anticipating paying more for rent in the spring once my current apartment is bulldozed (another story, another time, lol). SO: if you happen to have any leads on odd jobs or opportunities that you can pass along, please do! I am booked up for December, but will need more to hustle at in January.
Things I am good at: writing; editing; developing and running creative workshops/classes for kids, teens, adults; book cover design; simple website design; other graphic design shit; organizing (closets, homes, your fridge, lol); styling (you, your home, your fridge, teehee); creative coaching/big sky thinking, planning and goal-setting; personal assistant work; painting rooms; psychedelic chalk drawings, obviously. Other stuff. If anything comes to mind or if you have a different idea that’s not on the list but could be a fit, DM me on instagram (@natahnathemadonna) or just respond back to this email in your inbox.
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That’s all for now, my loves. God, I can’t wait for a new year. New year, new me, amiright?? ;)
Talk soon,
Natahna
The Recommends: The song, Escapism. by RAYE, 070 Shake.
There’s nothing more relatable for previous English majors than being a “great mover of books.” Lol
I see a wise tree and a gorgeous river in your art 💞 Cheers to 2024!